What Maddie Said

Do you know what its like to be lonely? 

To be truly, deeply lonely? I don't mean alone. 

I mean standing in a room full of people you are supposed to love and feeling no connection. 

Feeling emptiness where empathy should be.&n...

"I always have this fear that one day you are going to discover that I'm not as great as you once thought I was."

To be honest, I d...

For a period of time, I thought it was my sentimentality that trap me in this gloomy mood.

So I ran away from myself, I thought that I could get better and more optimistic if I just stop thinking so much naively.

But I was wrong, I made the horr...

 I've been thinking a lot ever since you said " you never told me anything about yourself."

Really? Didn't I? I always thought I am kind of the people who like talking things about myself, my family, my friends, my past life in China,etc..

...

I lose track of time

not being able to know the time from my watch

is like having my eyes covered

I stumble, can't find the balance

Without my watch, I sink into a moment of emptiness

que...

I am not myself today

I think im stuck in a crumbersome circumstances

I reckon I just realized how much I am into him

god

I hate this

now all I am so scared to be close to him

...

So many incidents happened lately

I feel so low at the moment

it seems like everything happens to me is a trouble

even my feet what supposes to carry me around is a burden to me now

my left feet is bu...

It has been a long time since the last time i blogged.

I have been listening to a lot of Death Cab For Cutie recently.

I bought plenty of clothes with Sharon.

I chilled with shenii, darko, patrick and chloe.
...

my mind is wandering..

i tried to memorise my chinese speech

but not even one word could bear in my mind

i attempted to finish my esl, fm and mm hw tonight

but i lack the ability to concentrate
...

i am anxious

i feel like i am wasting my life

i desperately yearn for more time

i need time

i wanna grasp every second in my life

i wanna take care of my mum

i wanna chill wi...

im friking exhausted...= =

let me sleep

lying on the bed for no matter how long

 

Happy Children's Day! o(≧v≦)o~~

I ated cup noodles, pocky and chocolate to celebrate my festival.

but... my stomache couldn't digest them

i threw them all up = =

....*sigh*

so im starvin...

is that because men are too rational or they are too cowardy?

what they do is just to end everything

they deny everything happened in the past

they deny every posibility in the future

only because the...

WOO HOO!

finished my acc sac and chinese hw

i feel so relieved now

im addicted to Club 8 now

their songs are so healing and sweet <3

i feel so peaceful

i feel like singing...

its absorbing how im choosing a sweet love song

to narrate my emotions

i used to comprehend smother me as choke me

but when i gave this song another listen

i noticed how shallow i was

its...

I am watching Arakawa Under The Bridge

It's so hilarious. ormoshiroi ^ ^

yeh..

i am very slack and lazy after the esl sac

=.=...its no good

i realized how bad i am at writing context resp...

I am listening some soft, silent and sweet songs recently

like Club 8

I think their songs make me peaceful

it calms me down

it makes my mind become simple and clear

I think im getting tou...

i am totally fucked up

my stomach has been hurting since this afternoon

i walked around tramped around the streets in the city

my tummy hurt so much that it even burned my heart

i went to eat sushi...

fuck everything's gonna be alright

fuck take it easy

fuck get used to it

fuck people thinking i have a fascinating life but they don't even know a crap about me

fuck treating me like a rubbish bin...

there must be something can not be replaced in the world where even organs can be replaced.

can i encounter the irreplaceable one?

if i could meet someone who's like that

would i live in a resolute way?
...

oh gosh

i almost tripped myself to death

and my left eye hurts so much

my eye lid is kinda swollen

its all because i said "retard" in front of that disable people ,isn't it?

yeh..its a ka...

"We are not living on the world alone,

there is some connection between you and the world,

the inevitable connection you can never escape from."

we have to take a step to live our lives

no one knows i...

I was so embarrassed

webcamed with d with my fringe up and in glasses ><

so so so

ah...

it embarrassed me to death

he kept saying i make his night

T-T

well...

I'm tired to death today

my eyes are swollen as a frog

i really can't be bothered writing one more sentence

-----------------------------------------------------

Now...

Rise, rise, rise to ...

its freaking freezing right now

but my face is boiling

 

my mum is acting so immature and ridiculous lately

its like she always takes every effort to annoy me and piss me off

she was...

just couple days ago

i was thinking

maybe its that i lost my ability of writing when Hair's gone

i know it sounds stupid

but those 2 things almost happened at the same time

so i couldn't ...

I do believe in Karma and Murphy's Law

Whatever you did to other will eventually return to you

every action has an equal and oppisite reaction

we can't get away from it

Karma will capture us ultimatel...

one thing good about my parents are spliting up

is that both of them are trying to show me how much they love and care about me

funny thing is they had never actually told me that

im trying to find a best word to ...

oh thank buddha

i can finally get on my blog

i am so exhausted even though i haven't done much today

tiny bit of acc, 1 page of MM cheat sheet

hmmm

my brain is filled by fat and rubbish...

crap, my internet is capped

i couldn't log on my blog on friday

i couldn't even open the page today

fml

my brain will be empty if i don't blog today

well well

i learned some ...