What Maddie Said

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http://6th-june.blogbus.com/logs/75900635.html

 I've been thinking a lot ever since you said " you never told me anything about yourself."

Really? Didn't I? I always thought I am kind of the people who like talking things about myself, my family, my friends, my past life in China,etc..

sometimes I talk about myself too much people get annoyed.

Since when I changed so much that I don't even like to mention things happened to me any more?

the reason is composed by a tiny part of Chris and an enormous part of my family

If I talk about those mess happened to me, to my family

would you listen to me carefully and patiently?

would you actually concern about me or would you just lose your appetite and be apathetic?

I guess I am too gloomy and melancholy to love someone

I am too scared to take off my mask and show people how pessimistic I am

I don't think anyone could ever accept the real me and will not be affected by me.

I am really confused and lost.

I feel like I don't have the courage to love any more

nothing can infatuate me

I feel like I am in my middle life crisis

but I am only 18

gosh

Am I suppse to enjoy the best moment of my life right now?

what the hell is wrong with me?

I actually hate myself

Why can't I be a optimist?

Why do I always feel so low?

even my body feels so weak these days

my mood is at the bottom of the valley....